Sunday, August 30, 2009
Me: ...no, click here....now drag...no, don't let go of the mouse...left click...now hold the button and drag and drag and drag that up to the folder you just created in the column on the left...no, not that one, the one you just created...now let go of the mouse...no, you don't have to take your hand completely off the mouse, just off the button. There you go. Good!
(My dad walks in and shows me an email he printed out with pictures on it. I look closely at the images.)
Dad: Hey, Ry, have you seen my rectum?
Me: (recoiling) Ew! It looks like pickled lycee. Why are you showing me that? Gross, Dad!
Dad: I got this email from my doctor. It's the inside of my rectum from my rectal exam.
Me: I don't want to see it.
Dad: He said I passed my colon-cos-cu-pie.
Mom: (barely paying attention) Scope, scope, scope! You had a scope up your colon! You had a colonoscopy. Not, cos-cu-pie. Now, Ryan, what if I want to copy these pictures to an email, and send them to...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Okay, stop. My head almost blew up!
Too much to quote:
Most people will go mid-back. Eh!
Good for you! Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!
Relax, you have the best teacher available...your cat.
What may seem excruciatingly slow to us, is so appropriate to felines.
We touch all the time, so why not be the best at it?
Caution, if your kitty doesn't like her fur to stir, she may tell you to shuffle out the door.
A whisker watch alert is in effect here!
Is your cat a talker? If yes, cat massage may bring out his best mega-meow moments.
Remember, we can't fool drool.
Monday, August 10, 2009
sneak peek – Kelley & Joe wedding Danville California
Friday, August 7, 2009
I snapped this picture with my phone as we purchased BART tickets.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Recap: If you saw the show last week you know that Sheree' and party planner, Anthony, had a near beat down. Don't think less of me for loving this:
I know most everyone (or maybe just people in my circles) has seen this trash. I was so curious about Anthony's response to his actions on last week's airing, I did some digging today and found a letter he'd written. I'd think, having lost his cool on national television, Anthony would be more concerned about the damage he did to his business and career. He is kinda, but he seems more concerned that people think he's a gay. Below is a letter he wrote to Sandra Rose to dispel any rumors:
I am reaching out trying to get the facts straight. First, I am not GAY! Married with children, and love PUSSY.
Second, I was never hired by Sheree or Bravo to do a party. This event was for the Atlanta Music Festival, and the producer’s ask me to modify the event to be included in an episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, entitled Sheree’s Divorce Party.
I also consider myself to be a professional with a long standing resume. But, unless you have work with Sheree or had any dealings with her you wouldn’t understand, where I am coming from.
Anthony's letter is inspiring and because I want to one day function on the level of an executive-level party planner, I think it is smart that I employ Anthony's techniques into my own practices of planning events (which is what I do for a living). In fact, I will start TODAY, setting the record straight with every event-related correspondence I write:
RE: Jack Adams Hall Rental Space
Firstly, I want to set the record straight! I love PUSSY and always have. It's the best. I dined on it just last night and have leftovers for today.
But what I'm really interested in knowing is if you're available for a walk through of Burke Hall on the afternoon of August 19th. There seems to be some confusion amongst my team about the room layout.
Please let me know what time works best for you and we'll go from there.
Event Planner & Ardent Fan of Pussy
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Chicago's slogan: Let friendship shine
Me: Really, Madrid?--Hola Everyone? Good luck with that one.
__________New Public Service Announcement out of Brazil:
Summary: Save water by peeing in the shower.
Me: Really, Brazil? Way ahead of you. I bathe in the toilet and shit in my shower. Take that!
Me: Really, Spain?--Way to promote tween motherhood. No "my first menses" toy, too?