Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Taffy and the Firm Banana


(I walk by Taffy's cubicle.  She is eating an unripened banana.)

Me: Are you eating a green banana?

Taffy: Yes, I like them better firm.  Do you eat the mushy yellow ones?

Me: I do.  Like most normal people. Is it a plantain?

Taffy: No.  A what?  What's that?

Me: A plantain?  Like a banana but, uh, I guess not a banana really.

Taffy: I only like bananas and the green ones are the best.  Kinda like eating a potato, but I like that.

Me: You like eating raw potatoes? 

Taffy: Not always.

Me: I see.

(I walk away.  Taffy yells after me.)

Taffy: I'm not weird!

BLACKOUT

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

How do you explain...

Following the Bill Nye and Ken Ham debate at the Creation Museum, Matt Stopera of BuzzFeed asked self-identifying creationists to write a message to those who believe in evolution.  Here are some samples below. 




Then the internet took over (wish I had thought of these)...



UPDATED 2/6/14: The Evolutionists have responded here and here.  Pics below:








When it comes down to it, I don't know that any minds were changed as I don't believe there were any epiphanies made on either side of the argument.  It was fun to stir the pot.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Taffy Knows Comfort



(Taffy comes into my office wearing a suit with tags hanging off the sleeve and a pair of big black shoes.  I'm at my computer.)

Taffy: Do you think this looks okay for a big donor meeting?  It's in an hour.

Me: Your suit?  Yes, it looks fine.

Taffy: I got it at the mall at lunch and I think it works, right? 

Me: Sure, it looks fine.  What shoes are you wearing?  Not those I hope. 

Taffy: (pulling up pant leg, splays foot) Yes, these.  They look like clogs but they're not.  Soooo comfortable.

Me: You don't have other shoes?  Those look like B.O.H. shoes.

Taffy: What's that?

Me: Back-of-the-house.  Like what dishwashers and chefs wear in the kitchen.  There's a reason they are in the back of the house.

Taffy: (swatting at the air) They do not!  They're nice, right?  You don't think so?  Should I wear heels?  I can't wear heels.  No one will notice these shoes.

Me: Uh, those clown shoes were the first thing I saw.  Yes, people will notice.

Taffy: Maybe if I go up on my tip-toes like this people will think they're high heels.

Me: Those are a far cry from heels, but only slightly better than Crocs.

Taffy: Shut up!  They're not bad and my pants cover them kinda.

Me: Could they cover them more maybe?   

Taffy: You're so mean!  I just want to be comfortable.  Ohmygod, if I could, I would wear these shoes and yoga pants to work.  Just a blouse and a pair of yoga pants.

Me: That sounds only slightly better than Crocs.

Taffy: I don't know what that means.

BLACKOUT